This is a series of blog posts. It is a bit of an introduction to things I have learned and found out about dating. I hope you find this series: useful, intriguing, and funny. I am no expert and merely thought this would be a great post for the New Year.
This is merely my point of view and opinions of myself and other contributors.
“As gender equality rises in any given society, men focus less on seeking mates with youth and beauty and women become less interested in rich, powerful men”
So think about this, men want a pretty face. When that fades—guess what you are older too! You get to start over looking for a pretty face, but you are not as “pretty” yourself, no offense. Also many women want or have kids, and most men have been there done that.
Women want wealth and stability. Sure, but realize this—men are at work and here are two key things to think about. First, most cheating occurs at work. Second, if they are working all the time they won’t be spending time with you. Additionally, everyone needs down time. They want guy time, you need girl time…your time with them will be limited even more once children are entered into the equation. Remember wealth, status, and things could be gone at any moment - whether a: fire, bankruptcy, divorce, robbery, etc.
The main questions you should focus on are the three D’s: drive, dreams and desires. Do you think you are on the same page? This covers everything from: work / life balance, family, financial goals, and sex.
#1 THE TROLL. They Troll the sites (and multiple) sending the same old dumb message in hopes for a “bite” to their pathetic attempt. They admit they put no effort into it, nor really care about it.
#2 THE FAKE, slimy, snot-nosed, probably under aged teens or 40-year-old virgin type. They send sexting type messages and hope get some in return. Or porn / virus’ sort of irony with that one. I will also list catfish under here.
#3 THE COLLECTOR – a person who like “the fake” wants pictures or merely wants to serial date. Or wants to just chat to as many people as possible with no intention of ever meeting.
#4 TOO NICE/PUSHOVER – You’ve met these people in real life. Some are the 40-year-old virgin. They lack confidence and truly try to fit what you want, instead of what they are looking for.
#5 ANGRY GUY – this one gets their own category for me. About 25% of the people on these sites are jaded. They send angry and hateful messages to you even if you have never sent a single message to them.
#6 NORMAL / SEMI-NORMAL—this is a two-fer. I say this because some appear normal until you meet them. You can hide a lot behind a: computer, text, and phone.
So, who am I? I was a love at first site “naive” type – married and faithful to the wrong person for far too long. That being said, I have two beautiful children, and I’m a stronger person for everything I’ve been through. Again, I know who I am.
That is the first issue I am noticing on the site. People are lost or not portraying themselves for who they are. I am honest and sure have faults, but no one needs to have that smack them in the face. But I also read profiles and can normally spot incompatibility or things I can overlook. We all have our “things”. Things that drive us nuts or were a sticking point in a prior relationship.
Something needs to be said for the people that can carry a conversation. I text in shorthand, but I get annoyed at people that cannot talk to me like a real person. And when they are half talking or clearly talking to far too many people at once - I just sign off. I think I am pretty interesting.
I know about a TV show on MTV called "Catfish". I have never seen. So many people talk about it actually happening on the sites. The people on the website try to force you right off the bat to prove you are real. It’s almost laughable if not annoying. I have found a couple fake accounts myself. A cute guy, I message them and immediately I got a porn link. I assume a fake account. (Shrugs) Whatever, I guess I have thicker skin. Being on Twitter I have had so many weirdos and whatnot. Not much gets to me. I also don’t understand the point of it, but I am noticing a trend lately where I don’t get things.
I watched a documentary awhile ago that stated mates are attracted to a person that looks similar to them. Their facial structure specifically. I found it interesting. I tried to locate the documentary; however I couldn’t find it online.
I can understand the concept on some level—to carry on strong genes. My heritage is Swedish and the genes are strong. It’s yet another unconscious natural selection type thing. Of course there are outliers to this, but we are seeking a mate that matches us in so many other ways, why not their appearance.
- Be Yourself /Know who you are
- Focus on the 3 D’s, not wealth and beauty
- Communicate clearly
- Be positive and don’t let the bad accounts get under your skin
Next up in the blog series, setting up profiles…(you might cry you will be laughing so hard)
Links I would recommend:
Some Dating Site links:
Plenty of FISH (POF):
Match.com (join for free):
E-harmony(5 days free):