This is a series of blog posts. It is a bit of an introduction to things I have learned and found out about dating. I hope you find this series: useful, intriguing, and funny. I am no expert and merely thought this would be a great post for the New Year.
This is merely my point of view and opinions of me and other contributors. Please note the user names have been altered slightly and no profile pictures with persons faces have been used because I wasn’t given permissions.
Contributing author MK
Picking out your name should be something you put thought into. It’s really about what you are trying to attract and who you are portraying yourself as.
I saw one that said shooter. Now every picture was with alcohol, so I am guessing that kind, but yeah…let’s think about our word choices.
The thugs that really are babies, smh, really? Names that have: cash, killer, skilz, dbillz, etc.
Ok. So I know your name is Gregory Peck & you were born on July 4th in 73 (easily verified since your age is displayed) Am I the only one that doesn't trust the internet? Seriously, why not just post your social and take a picture of your bank statements while you're at it.
Or the guy with sexual innuendoes: magicboner, hardnlong, (perhaps not thick #idontknow *laughs*), Jackoff6969, Kittylicker, snatchxx… Usually a pic of the stereotypical DB, shirtless or a nerd...
Vanilla ice, dressed in a pinstripe suit with the -"I'm trying to look tough look" on your face and tag line “Shark Tank”. Oh wow. You pulled out all the stops here...
The men who are “still in college”. The name- big snooze. Is that a synopsis to what I get to look forward to. Is it a warning label. Were you drunk when you made this name? Or pick that picture. Seriously- you look like you are high on bath salts or part of the walking dead. And your- "not too sure." I'm not either after seeing this...
The #myusernameissolongitlookslikeahadtagandmakesnosense name. You lost me at duck...
Picking a user name that makes you sound horrible. Umm. I see you're tatted. But why label yourself a monkey. Gets me to thinking if you are hairy or make ape noises during sex... Tattoomnky
Muttmunkey (kinda goes with above; just my mind goes somewhere it shouldn’t)
Publishing your workplace for all to see (men who stand in front of fire trucks). Hell, I'm a sucker for a man in uniform. But you just showed me and a bazillion other strangers what town you work for... Not smart... Side note also your uniforms, don’t forget to blur your name.
See additional fun tags below and just think for a moment would you really want to open a profile for any of the tag lines listed? If you need to put something like “no cheaters” or “this site doesn’t work” it conveys nothing but negativity.
Strong women scare weak men.
I was indecisive, now I am not so sure.
No cheaters please.
Get me off this site.
Does this site even work?
I am giving this one more try.
This thing is brken.
Were R all the gud woman? (far away from you buddy LOL)
Not too sure
It places the lotion on its… (yeah creeper alert)
Not too shabby
Anyone good with dog ear problems?
Why am I doing this again?
No Drama please (or any variation of this)
Sometimes you only have messed up choices
"MY NAME IS GEORGE. I'M UNEMPLOYED AND LIVE WITH MY PARENTS.” (The person is joking but still it’s dumb because this is mostly what the viewer will see)
“If someone compliments you, at least Thank them" (ps his name is I_smooth obviously not so much…lol)
Let’s leave each other wanting more
Looking for my laid back country girl
Living in the moment
Outdoorsy guy looking
Looking for a partner in crime
Let’s have some fun in the sun
Ready set let’s roll (makes me think of a song)
Live, laugh, enjoy…it’s that simple
Just looking (this is actually honesty)
Bring balance to my life
Love story inside, let’s see how it ends
Pictures. We all have a type and we judge a book by their cover, like books! Do you like blondes, or facial hair, unconsciously some people are attracted to someone with similar features. There is a study about this, as I mentioned in my prior post.
So on to the funny and worst pictures. And honestly this is from our perspective, but really ladies this goes for you too. I have heard a lot that women have similar dumb pictures. Get a thread of common sense. There are so many more, but this is just the tip of the iceberg.
The angry, constipated or prison look. Smile!
And to add to that, there was a man in a prison. His profile said: people don’t judge me badly because I am in a prison…um you are in PRISON! Idiot! No just nooo.
Also, many in that prison orange. No, please think about the color you are wearing.
The man taking a picture in the rearview, during a snowstorm, while driving. Yes, we want you—please endanger our lives too!
Sideways man. There is a thing called rotate…yeah the little arrow thingy-that.
A shoe. No really I have seen just a shoe and trust me it was small if it was meant to mean they were, um, well hung, because the shoe… Well you can see for yourself, size 7?
A head cut off and pasted on a baby, in peanut butter, or on a muscled man…just no.
A man in a penguin suit, captain America or other non-business suits. Sometimes I think these memories are great to the person posting, but we weren’t there. Remember that.
The back of your head.
Every picture is blurry.
Pictures with stupid / gross things like mold and toilet brushes or trash in the background…be mindful!
The underneath shot. I don’t need to see your double chin or nose hairs.
Bathroom selfie that looks so sterile or psycho. The lighting is terrible in there.
The cat picture!This is clearly a loon if you read their profile. I already reported them before.
in written profile
#1 Do not put: Ask or ask me. The point of the site is to be able to look at a person that is potential and say hmm, we have “this” in common. Ok, now I have something to talk about.
Ask? Ask what? Ask why you are such an arrogant douche bag? Get off your lazy ass and write a couple sentences.
Can you speak English? Are you literate. These are pluses for me. If you cannot string a sentence or write like this: I lke 2 due evrytin n sht hnd & never use wds or punctuation or captals or speelchek. Ur cute. No. Write like an adult.
#2 The first thing you say is you don’t want drama or baggage. Life is full of drama. We all have these things; if you don’t, you are lying or were just born, because even my 6 year old is a drama queen.
#3 Your post is all negative things to say about others or your experience on the site so far. Keep your page upbeat. No one wants to be dragged into your pit of despair (10 points if you can name that movie!).
#4 Everything in your profile is a joke. Like life is a joke. Are you really going to take me serious? A relationship serious?
#5 You post that you need help raising your children. Yes, I have seen that.
#6 You say: I will fill it out later, but you have been on this site forever with the same pictures. Pretty sure you have gotten older.
#7 You have your age listed as one thing and then tell us in your profile you are another. Strike one!
#8 You have a blank profile. No age, height, nothing. I am not messaging or responding to you. If you have so little time to put into this then you will have just as much time to put into me.
#1 Ask a friend to help you edit your page, but make sure it is you. If you are male have a female friend and vice versa if you can or want. Just an idea.
#2 Sometimes someone will tell you that another picture of you is better. Hey try it out! Anytime you update your profile you are going to be noticed on the site.
#3 Be interesting. We are all looking for attractive, but smart, funny, charismatic, etc…these are all part of a package. Your package.
#4 Honest. Be yourself. Don’t play a role and be what you think someone else is looking for. Why waste anyone’s time, especially yours. Even causal dating and sex, trust me it is better when you have a connection with someone you have actual things in common with.
- Put meaningful / good pictures on your profile.
- Ask for help from friends.
- Be yourself and fill out the profile at least moderately.
If you were once wondering why no one was looking at you, perhaps this helps you a little bit. No one wants someone to be what they want; they want you to be you!
Up next in the blog series: messages and using the sites to their potential…